Hey guys! Once again, I'm blogging feeling like a complete failure because I haven't blogged in so long. This used to be so important to me, but with social media these days, its so easy to just make a quick post without having to blog. I may not ever reach my blogging goals, but I am learning to be okay with that.
I wanted to write today, because, as usual, something has been heavy on my heart. As probably all of you know, I suffer from depression/anxiety and bipolar disorder. I remember when I first started telling people, and it brought most to tears. Many sad they never had a clue, or that I seemed so happy, or they empathized with how hard it must be to fight such an uphill battle.
I went to treatment, I got a doctor, and a therapist, and occasionally some would ask how I was doing, or check in with me. And then it all stopped. Because I'm assuming that I post beautiful pictures of my kids, and I go on vacations, and I genuinely look happy. I'm here to tell you guys, depression doesn't have a face.
I don't mean to make anyone feel guilty, but with all the recent suicides that happened, I felt it on my heart to share a bit what depression looks like, and how you can help, and maybe save someones life.
Depression for me, is an everyday battle. Some days are better, some days I can barely breathe. When I'm having a bad day, It's hard for me to even get out of bed to pee. The thought of having to do anything brings me to tears. I have 5 children who depend on me, and when I feel like I can't be the mother to them that they need, I often have to fight the thought in my head that they would be better off if I were just dead.
Situations that wouldn't bother the average person can completely debilitate me. An argument, a rude comment, something in the news. It can take me out for days. I don't always think about suicide, but more often than not, I am thinking about it. Now, I do have an accountability partner in my husband, and I can honestly say that I would never actually go through with it. He is quick to remind me that that is not an option. He has become so in tune with me, that he can just look and my eyes and know what kind of mood I'm in.
But friends, not everyone has that. You have some depressed friends who are single, or don't have a support system, OR you just have friends that don't want to say anything to you, because they don't want to feel like a burden.
That's where YOU come in. We've seen it being shared "Check on your strong friend" but, seriously, check on your friends!!!! Especially if they are the strong ones who seem to have all the answers, who are always there for you, or seem like they have everything going for them.
Depression is a disease in the brain. Sometimes we can't battle our mind. We just don't have the strength. Ask them how they are doing.... how they are REALLY doing. Pray with them. Send them inspirational quotes(there are millions). Don't assume that just because they haven't said anything that they are doing okay. Quite frankly, I think we might all suffer from some form of depression. Life is hard. The older I get the more I realize that the bad is going to happen, and we can determine how we cope and deal with it.
Depression can inhibit that. Think about the worst you've ever felt, and magnify that. Our brains don't allow us to cope, right away at least. It takes me DAYS to get over things. And those aren't even "big" things.
So, what did we learn?
1) Don't assume anyone is okay
2) Check on your people
3) Don't stop checking on your people
This is what depression looks like.