Friday, February 20, 2015

Is this real life?

Well hello, little abandoned blog of mine. For shame.
I always have the best intentions of blogging, I even do posts in my head, and never find the time to actually sit down and do them.
Right now, the most important thing in my life is sleep.
No but I'm serious. Without the proper amount of rest, I am just physically, and mentally not my best.

As is the truth for every human being. Rest is so very important for our overall health. My goal for this year was only to continue on the path of becoming the person that I am meant to be.
A WHOLE person. Physically, mentally, spiritually rounded, and I am continuing on that path. One day I'll blog about my fitness, and how I lost almost 40 lbs in less than a year, and one day I will find the strength to blog about how I have learned to overcome negative people in my life, and yes, one day I will finally finish our Disney vacation, but today is NOT that day.

Today, I will blog about my DAUGHTER!

Wait, WHAT?!

To even say that, is completely, foreign to me. Daughter. Baby girl. Female. PINK!

I guess I'd have to start back when we found out Brevin was a boy. Because of how he came into this world I think, I was ecstatic to have another son. His little life was almost gone in a matter of minutes. I was so grateful that I had a HEALTHY tiny baby. Who cares about gender? Seriously?

My heart was content, especially following that emergency c section, and everything that came with it. I was of course open to have more babies, but I knew in my heart that I was done.

B and I talked about it, just to keep it on the table, because, come on, I was 26 years old, in ridiculously good shape (yes, toot, toot), and we had always talked about having 5-7 kidlets. We have always just wanted a big family. Something we agreed on before he even proposed marriage.
We agreed that if we were to have another baby, I would get my mirena taken out in December or January, and if I was not pregnant before Brendans 30th birthday this April, Brendan would go ahead and get a vasectomy. Done deal.
Easy cheesy.

As more time passed, I realized that I was NOT ready to be pregnant again. I wanted to wear bikinis this summer, and go zip lining, and ride roller coasters, and do the tough mudder marathon, and the list goes on.

I loved our even number of our family of 6. I daydreamed of us going to amusement parks and having a perfect number for each of us to have a roller coaster buddy. Or splitting up into two teams for a family game of basketball or touch football. Each boy had a buddy, and it would be perfect!

I decided it in my mind, and gave away every single piece of maternity clothing I owned, even bigger clothes that weren't maternity, but clothes I had never planned on wearing again, because I planned on just getting smaller! HOLLA! I gave away all my baby boy clothes that Brevy had outgrown to my friend expecting her baby boy, and I was on a mission to be the most fit mom of 4 boys that there ever were.

In November, I had ovarian cyst issues which landed me an extensive stay on the good old couch until they ruptured or went away. I was MISERABLE! I got an ultrasound at the hospital, where the ultrasound tech saw my mirena, and also my 2 large cysts on my ovaries.

After they ruptured, we got back to normal life. And all the things that come with that. Ahem. We also took precautionary measures, ahem, because I had a yeast infection. I'm not going to go into details butchuknowhatimtawknbout.
So anyways, one December morning, the 21st of December, to be exact, I was just chillin, eating breakfast, talking to my kids, and I felt it. The vomit. I ran to the bathroom, and in true movie fashion, I threw up. Immediately, I grabbed my phone and went to my period tracker app. 4 days late.
I knew I had mirena, so I didn't quite freak out THAT bad, because periods can be irregular, and I was also still breastfeeding, so I calmly text my sister and asked her to go get me a pregnancy test. After her doing back flips, she came over, eager for me to test. I had already peed in a cup, so I dipped the test and put it on the counter. I didn't even have time to think. It was POSITIVE.
But. But.. But... I'm on mirena.. and we were careful. And I'm still breastfeeding. And... WHAT?
After I got off the bathroom floor, where I laid for a few minutes, I text some friends and asked what I should do. All of them agreed that false positives don't exist, and that I was probably pregnant.
Crap. What was B going to say? We JUST said we were done having kids. I mean he had already found a urologist! I guess I forgot the man I married for a split second, after I called him, he text me after he had time to think and said "It's because you're so damn fine" My husband, ladies and gents.
We agreed we would go to the hospital, to make sure it wasn't an ectopic pregnancy, because that was my number one fear. We were in so much shock, that after I took the urine test at the hospital, when the nurse left, she said "congratulations" and we were like "tthaaankkk yoouu??" we were just confused. How does this even happen?
The ultrasound confirmed nothing. They could not see a baby. But guess what they also couldn't see? MY MIRENA. Yep. It was gone. Vanished. Disappeared.
The doctor also said that my HCG was dangerously low, and that I was probably going to have a miscarriage, or maybe not, and that the baby could possibly be in my tubes, but they weren't sure -___-  We went home even more confused than when we went.
I wasn't starting to get sick yet, I just felt kinda off, so I had no idea what was going on. We still told a few close people, and my mother of course, but we wanted everyone to just pray for us.
I ended up going back to the hospital because I had some bad pain, and they told me to come back if I had pain. I still thought the baby was in my tubes.
This time on ultrasound, they saw the baby, but the heart rate was only 90.
Again, they feared miscarriage. I was so discouraged at this point. I don't know why, but I just thought the baby was not going to make it. And I was confused, because I thought I didn't want a baby, but I guess I did.
My aunt, aka my life coach, aka my everything, text me a prayer, and immediately told me some supplements to rush order (black haw and progesterone) and I felt at ease. If she believed in this tiny baby, why couldn't I, too?
The supplements came in, I took them, and waited for my first OB appt. They rushed me in for an ultrasound, and the technician almost giggled, because the baby's heart rate was so strong.
We felt so much better, and wrapped our minds around having another baby. Once we started telling people of course everyone said "OH ITS A GIRL" Like no one had a doubt. Except a few haters. Cough cough.
I had ZERO intuition. Like I always don't. Since I had planned a big surprise anniversary trip to Las Vegas, I figured why not surprise him with the gender of the baby while we were there as well. I knew I could get the chromosome screening done at 10 weeks, so after finding out my insurance would cover it, I went and got the blood test done. That was the Wednesday before we left for Vegas. I skipped out of there thinking I would find out before our actual anniversary that coming Tuesday, then my nurse told me it took TWO WEEKS!
TWO WEEKS?! I honestly had such an amazing time in Vegas with Brendan, that we totally forgot all about it (I ended up telling him since we wouldn't find out before our anniversary). We got back that Tuesday night, and I waited until that Friday to call, just to see if the results were maybe in. My sweet nurse told me that they would probably be in by Monday, and to call back then.
Monday morning, I actually forgot. I was finishing up a birthday cake for my friends daughter, and I remembered. I was so scared to make that call.
What if it was another boy?!
Well, great! 5 boys! It IS all we know, after all. I mean, a girl would be WEIRD. And we'd have to change things, and do stuff, and prepare! Ha! But what if it was a girl? Just maybe? WHAT IF ITS A GIRL? But it's not, I can't have girls. Like I'm pretty sure my uterus has a mustache(stole that from another blogger) But seriously, I pop out boys. That's just what I do. Beautiful boys is my business, and business is GOOD!
Shaking, I called, and left a message. She called me back literally two minutes later. She started with "Told ya the results would be in! I'm assuming you called to find out gender, right?" I yelled "WAIT WAIT WAIT I'M NOT READY!!"
I had to breathe. I was shaking, and I had a piping bag in my hand. I started back piping on the cake and she said "Okay, well what do you WANT it to be?" I whispered " a giiirrrlll?"
And then she said 5 words that I have repeated in my head over and over again a billion times "YOU'RE HAVING A BABY GIRL!" I said "SHUT UP!!!!" I didn't know what to do. I swear my eyes went crossed, and I couldn't even focus. I started making eggs while she was kids weren't even awake yet.. and I was making breakfast lol. She told me that the rest of tests came back low risk for chromosomal abnormalities, and that I had a healthy BABY GIRL!
She could not stop laughing at me because she knows me well enough to know I was freaking the freak out. She said see you next Monday, and told me congratulations, and we hung up. I walked around my kitchen island a few times, sent out a shaky text to my friend Tasha that I was already texting "My nurse just called me, we are having a GIRL" My phone rang so fast, and she called me crying. We have the same due date, and she was telling me how big of a blessing it was, and it just still wasn't sinking in. OMG. I hadn't told B yet. After crying a bit with her, we hung up, and I ran and LEAPED on top of him.
He was half asleep. "BABBBEEE!!!" I yelled. "Yes" he said through one eye squinted. "WE ARE HAVING A GIRLLLLL"
He gave me the biggest smile his sleepy face could fit, and gave me the stinkiest morning kiss, and said "That's amazing babe." and then I leaped off of him and told him to go back to bed.
I know he probably felt like it was all a dream. I text all my friends, I just couldn't hold it in. Brendan had really wanted to do a gender reveal party, but I ruined all the chances of that in less than 10 minutes. I was just freaking out. My friend Melissa came over to pick up the cake, and couldn't even focus. She ran in the house and grabbed me and we squealed like teenagers. Her husband came and told me congratulations and had the BIGGEST smile!
On the way to the party, Brendan kept saying.. "wait, like, are we awake? Is this real? NOT a dream?" I was like, "I mean I've been slapping myself all morning so I guess not!"
We are having a daughter you guys. I know this post got lengthy, so I will end it here. I will have to gather the rest of my thoughts and write about what having a little girl means to this mama, who was totally prepared to be a boy mom forever.
Thank you every single person who has shared in our excitement! It has meant more than you know, and also kind of helped us realize that this is actually real.
A baby girl! What do we do?!


Tuesday, November 25, 2014

When am I allowed to have an opinion?

I honestly didn’t think I would have anything to write about this decision made by the Grand Jury. I knew there would be a “No bill” I listened to the facts, the witness accounts of what happened that night, and it all made sense to me. You can’t dispute facts, right? The outcry after the decision was not what I expected. I thought, for some strange reason… “Maybe everyone will get it? Maybe they will see why?” But how na├»ve of me.


See, I am completely biased, probably. I mean, I’m married to a cop. Not only am I married to a cop, we are a one income household. So, you could say that our entire life revolves around law enforcement. I’d accept that. I know because of who I’m married to, what typical police protocol is, and I also know, because of who the leader of my household is, that I also want him to do whatever he needs to do to come home at night. WHATEVER he needs to do.

Now, I’m not writing to go into detail about what happened, or even give a synopsis, because the entire statement is readily available for whomever chooses to read, and decide their own opinion. I would never say what someone thinks was right, or wrong, because we all have very different lifestyles. Not one person has experienced the exact same things, and I’m grateful for that. It makes us different. It makes us unique. It makes us who we are. What saddens me, is when my peers choose to tell others what they are allowed to express. I saw one post from one of my husbands facebook friends calling anyone who thought this wasn’t about racism was “simple minded” I don’t believe that to be true at all.

When the Trayvon Martin situation went down, my husband wrote his opinion on this blog. He was attacked. Many pretending as if they were speaking about “another blog post, written by a light skinned guy married to a black girl” but.. I digress. Some said, if he wasn’t “black enough” or lived the “black experience” he had no say in the matter. When I defend him, or state my opinion, I also have no opinion, because I’m “completely sheltered” and “haven’t lived the life that others have”

So, I ask this.. WHEN AM I ALLOWED TO HAVE AN OPINION? When is ANYONE allowed to? Because I want my babies to live in a world where they feel that their life is valid, I will share why I have an opinion. No one has lived my life but me. NO ONE. Not my husband, not my brother, not my children. Just me. I have had my own experiences, dealt with my fair share of disappointments, and injustices, and still I stand. I live. I love. I care. I think. I can say that at the end of the day, bad things happen. We don’t know why, but they do. And we move on. We learn, and we teach, and we grow, and we make sure that we do our best to be sure that nothing like what we experienced ever happened again, at least to the best of our ability.

Why can I say that about this Mike Brown situation? I had something taken away from me too, not my life, not my child, but my innocence. I was molested from the time I was 10 until I was 14 years old. By someone I trusted. Someone who was supposed to be a protector for me, to look out for me. And they didn’t. When I confessed when I was 20, only because I had a child of my own, he lied. Those who knew me, stayed by side, but those who didn’t, had no choice but to side with him. Do I care? Slightly. Is he walking around out of jail, with his kids of his own, daughters? Yes. Does it bother me? Absolutely. Do I slander everyone who has anything to say about being molested if they haven’t been? I don’t.

See, things happen when you go through something. Either you learn, or you wallow. I chose not to wallow. I chose to become a person that wasn’t defined by a situation. I chose to educate and mentor other girls, that may be going through the same thing and don’t know a way out. I trust less, but I love more.

I don’t write this to make it all about me, but I write as a plea to love more. Just because someone you know has had a different experience, or is a different ethnicity, or religion, DOES NOT MEAN that their opinion is not valid. And I say that from every direction in this situation. I ask you to be positive. If you feel hurt, turn that hurt into determination. Make a difference. Educate others. Think about the words you choose to use. Are they constructive? Think about the people you know, who could see what you write. Are you thinking about their feelings? Everyone deserves to be a little selfish sometimes, but do it without the heartbreak of others. We all have a voice, and we can all use it for something good.

Don’t let a situation define you. Don’t let it get the best of you. To my fellow LEO families, my thoughts and prayers are with you always, and may our LEO’s that make a positive difference in profession that very few respect, continue to do their job with integrity, and with honor. To my fellow black peers, I pray for you more than you know. To my fellow parents raising young black boys, and even girls, lets be that shining example for our kids and show them how to carry themselves, and how to overcome, and how to break the mold of the stereotype that we have so wrongly been given. But for everyone, I urge you to educate yourself, read facts. Do your own research. And remember, we will never understand God’s plan, but it’s not for us to.

I have a voice, I have an opinion, and I MATTER. We all do. No matter your race, background, or profession.

Saturday, October 18, 2014

Bundle of Banks do Disney, AGAIN!!! Part 4



Ah ha! Told yall I was gonna finish my Disney posts this year.. but omg this is day 1 of 7!! Bahahaahaha!!

We spent our first Day at Magic Kingdom. Last year, we had Mickey ears on our shirt wearing a Saints hat,

so this year, we had a Mickey Fleur de Lis, that said “Geauxin to see dat mouse”


Riding the bus!


Me and Megs. I love her!


We went straight to see Mickey! Brevin actually LOVES mickey mouse! He can be so upset, but as soon as he hears Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, he starts smiling automatically.

This year, the Mickey actually talked. It was so cool!



We had lunch reservations at Cinderella's Palace! We had two sleeping kiddos and thought it was hilarious.


This was the view from the back of Cinderella's Castle. And, oh yeah, food!

Have I mentioned how much I LOVE the dining plan!?!



All the princesses made their way around. The boys knew like none of them, oops.

Btw my camera died, so I had to use my backup that I pretty much only use for video. I was not happy. But the picks came out ok.


The food was delicious and the castle was gorgeous. We also got lots of souvenirs.

When we first came in, we took picks with Cinderella, and they gave us framed and printed pictures, as well as swords for the boys.





We were joking that since I was pregnant at Disney last year, it was Brendan's turn.



We rode everything we didn’t ride last year, thanks to our fast passes!





I LOVE the Disney parades!



When we got back, there was gift number 2 from Disney, toys for each boy, and Lightning McQueen cookies!



Next up, Animal Kingdom!


Wednesday, October 15, 2014


That’s right you guys!! IT IS A-GO!
*You must check all boxes to be entered
*Only one winner will be chosen
*Share with your friends for a better chance of winning
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Monday, October 13, 2014


GUYS! IM SO EXCITED!! I have finally gotten all of my sponsors info and am so happy to share details with you finally!!
I wanted to do a "makeover" themed giveaway.
It OFFICIALLY opens tomorrow! Check back on the blog to see how to enter!
You can get a head start by following/subscribing to all of the social media sites!
Go! Yippee!!

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Monday, October 6, 2014

Bundle of Banks do Disney, AGAIN!! Part 3

Sad news about the giveaway guys! It’s postponed one more week.

But this week I will be introducing all my amazing, super fantastic sponsors as well as what they will be giving away!!!!

I had a sponsor drop out last minute, but I have a replacement in the works!


Now who’s ready for more Disney MAGIC?!

I was playing no games this year. I wanted us on the road to Disney World no later than 5:00 am.

It’s about an 11 hour drive from New Orleans, so that would put us there around 4.

Thank goodness for my granddaddy! We were up and outta there by 5 am!!


Here is how we surprised the boys. One year we will wait until the middle of the day, when they are fully awake!

It was about 4:30 am, so they weren’t fully awake yet. I will post the video to our YouTube channel soon.


Florida orange juice! And Brevin just chillin!



I found this picture on Pinterest. This almost made me cry while we were on the way to Disney.

Travel is so important to us, because we want our babies to know that there is a whole world out there to be discovered!

We love our little adventurers, and we love being able to create memories, and go on

amazing adventures together!





Our resort was SOO AMAZING! And so darn cute! We stayed at Caribbean Beach last year, and we loved it.

This year, the kids were in AWE! Best part? CARS CHARACTERS! Because, duh, boys!

I actually got these pictures later on in the week. I strategically planned out how and when I would do pictures,

because there were certain shots I knew I wanted to get, and I didn’t want to rush them, or drive everyone crazy!


Here are some shots from around the resort!













We unfortunately had a phone call to Disney a while before we got there, that ended up with a VERY RUDE rep.

Which, is very uncommon for Disney. They compensated us with a series of gifts! It was soooo cool!

This was the first one on the first night!


We settled into our suite, and headed right back out to Downtown Disney for dinner with the Selods!

We ate at Planet Hollywood, and remembered HOW MUCH FOOD you eat at Disney! I was stuffed, and happy!





We came back to the resort, got cleaned up, and were ready for a good, comfy night of rest! Next day was Magic Kingdom!







PS- I know there are no Disney tips yet. I’m working on becoming a paid blogger for Disney travel. I will blog tips very soon! There are SO MANY POSTS ahead!