I honestly didn’t think I would have anything to write about this decision made by the Grand Jury. I knew there would be a “No bill” I listened to the facts, the witness accounts of what happened that night, and it all made sense to me. You can’t dispute facts, right? The outcry after the decision was not what I expected. I thought, for some strange reason… “Maybe everyone will get it? Maybe they will see why?” But how naïve of me.
See, I am completely biased, probably. I mean, I’m married to a cop. Not only am I married to a cop, we are a one income household. So, you could say that our entire life revolves around law enforcement. I’d accept that. I know because of who I’m married to, what typical police protocol is, and I also know, because of who the leader of my household is, that I also want him to do whatever he needs to do to come home at night. WHATEVER he needs to do.
Now, I’m not writing to go into detail about what happened, or even give a synopsis, because the entire statement is readily available for whomever chooses to read, and decide their own opinion. I would never say what someone thinks was right, or wrong, because we all have very different lifestyles. Not one person has experienced the exact same things, and I’m grateful for that. It makes us different. It makes us unique. It makes us who we are. What saddens me, is when my peers choose to tell others what they are allowed to express. I saw one post from one of my husbands facebook friends calling anyone who thought this wasn’t about racism was “simple minded” I don’t believe that to be true at all.
When the Trayvon Martin situation went down, my husband wrote his opinion on this blog. He was attacked. Many pretending as if they were speaking about “another blog post, written by a light skinned guy married to a black girl” but.. I digress. Some said, if he wasn’t “black enough” or lived the “black experience” he had no say in the matter. When I defend him, or state my opinion, I also have no opinion, because I’m “completely sheltered” and “haven’t lived the life that others have”
So, I ask this.. WHEN AM I ALLOWED TO HAVE AN OPINION? When is ANYONE allowed to? Because I want my babies to live in a world where they feel that their life is valid, I will share why I have an opinion. No one has lived my life but me. NO ONE. Not my husband, not my brother, not my children. Just me. I have had my own experiences, dealt with my fair share of disappointments, and injustices, and still I stand. I live. I love. I care. I think. I can say that at the end of the day, bad things happen. We don’t know why, but they do. And we move on. We learn, and we teach, and we grow, and we make sure that we do our best to be sure that nothing like what we experienced ever happened again, at least to the best of our ability.
Why can I say that about this Mike Brown situation? I had something taken away from me too, not my life, not my child, but my innocence. I was molested from the time I was 10 until I was 14 years old. By someone I trusted. Someone who was supposed to be a protector for me, to look out for me. And they didn’t. When I confessed when I was 20, only because I had a child of my own, he lied. Those who knew me, stayed by side, but those who didn’t, had no choice but to side with him. Do I care? Slightly. Is he walking around out of jail, with his kids of his own, daughters? Yes. Does it bother me? Absolutely. Do I slander everyone who has anything to say about being molested if they haven’t been? I don’t.
See, things happen when you go through something. Either you learn, or you wallow. I chose not to wallow. I chose to become a person that wasn’t defined by a situation. I chose to educate and mentor other girls, that may be going through the same thing and don’t know a way out. I trust less, but I love more.
I don’t write this to make it all about me, but I write as a plea to love more. Just because someone you know has had a different experience, or is a different ethnicity, or religion, DOES NOT MEAN that their opinion is not valid. And I say that from every direction in this situation. I ask you to be positive. If you feel hurt, turn that hurt into determination. Make a difference. Educate others. Think about the words you choose to use. Are they constructive? Think about the people you know, who could see what you write. Are you thinking about their feelings? Everyone deserves to be a little selfish sometimes, but do it without the heartbreak of others. We all have a voice, and we can all use it for something good.
Don’t let a situation define you. Don’t let it get the best of you. To my fellow LEO families, my thoughts and prayers are with you always, and may our LEO’s that make a positive difference in profession that very few respect, continue to do their job with integrity, and with honor. To my fellow black peers, I pray for you more than you know. To my fellow parents raising young black boys, and even girls, lets be that shining example for our kids and show them how to carry themselves, and how to overcome, and how to break the mold of the stereotype that we have so wrongly been given. But for everyone, I urge you to educate yourself, read facts. Do your own research. And remember, we will never understand God’s plan, but it’s not for us to.
I have a voice, I have an opinion, and I MATTER. We all do. No matter your race, background, or profession.